Five Promising Romance Routines for More Love In Your Marriage

There is a set of questions we get asked often; they are like the many facets on a diamond wedding ring. It goes something like this:

How did you two get so close and unified– and how do you stay that way?

How can busy couples weave in marriage building into an already hectic life?

What if I am more interested in enriching our marriage than my mate? what are some creative ideas that might help?

Here are five “Romance Routines” we have used and we highly recommend to bring your hearts, souls and bodies closer!

Coffee and Conversation: Have a Marriage Meet-Up!

In the daily grind of life, it’s easy to let meaningful connection slip away. That’s why we recommend setting aside time for a regular marriage meet-up. Whether you find a charming coffee shop or create a cozy corner in your home, use this time to handle the business side of life while also nurturing your relationship. In our book, Marriage Meet Up: A Planner For Couples Who Want Purpose, Passion, and Productivity, we incorporate a couple’s devotion and coffee questions to guide your time together. Remember, “Coffee + conversation = connection!”

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” — Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV)

Drive and Dialogue: Transform Your Car Rides

Car rides are often an untapped opportunity for connection. Keep a book like 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make in your car, and take a moment to read a page or two during your drives together. These small, consistent steps can lead to big changes in your relationship over time, as my friend Danna Demetre says: “Small steps add up in a big way over time.” The discussion questions in our books can turn your drive into a time of meaningful dialogue, making even the most mundane trips an opportunity to grow closer. another option would be a marriage boosting audiobook. We have three available on Audible, including the Marriage Code. 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV)

Dinner and Discuss: Plan Heart-to-Heart Date Nights

Date nights are a perfect time to reconnect and share what’s on your heart. Why not plan a date around a theme? For instance, our bestseller, Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, includes themed date nights at the back of the book. You could make a reservation at an Italian restaurant (or a waffle breakfast spot) and enjoy cuisine for lovers while diving into discussions that strengthen your bond. Another option is our 7 week video series on this topic, have a weekly pasta night at home and watch the videos then discuss each topic– and have ice cream in a waffle cone for dessert!) These special nights are a great way to blend fun with deep conversation.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” — 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

Seclude and Sizzle: Ignite Intimacy in Your Marriage

Romance is essential to a thriving marriage, and sometimes, you need to intentionally create space for it. In our book Red Hot Monogamy, we include romance questions in each chapter that cover eight vital areas of intimacy, plus “hands-on homework” (pun intended!)—the kind of homework you’ll actually want to do! Setting aside time for this kind of connection can bring a spark back to your relationship, ensuring that your intimacy stays as vibrant as your love.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.” — Song of Solomon 1:2 (NIV)

Walk and Talk: Reflect and Connect

After spending time reading or watching something together, take your conversation outside. A “walk and talk” is an excellent way to digest what you’ve learned and discuss how it applies to your relationship. For example, after watching one of our appearances on the TV show A Better Us, hold hands and chat about the marriage principles shared. As you stroll, you can apply these insights to your relationship, and on the way home, take a moment to pray for one another. This simple practice reinforces your connection both spiritually and emotionally.

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” — Amos 3:3 (NIV)

By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you’re not just maintaining your relationship—you’re enriching it. Small, intentional actions lead to a strong, passionate, and lasting marriage.

Pam and Bill Farrel  are international speakers, authors of over 60 books, and co-direct Love-Wise ministry. When they are not traveling to speak, or writing their next book, you will find them enjoying the company of their three sons, three daughters-in-love and seven grandkids or kayaking or walking the beach near their live-aboard boat they call home, docked in southern California.