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What Makes a “Super” Marriage?

This month the world’s eyes are on the Superbowl. The top two teams play to see who will win. My question is, what makes for a SUPER marriage? What helps a couple pull TOGETHER as teammates so they BOTH win?

In a Couple’s Journey With God devotional, we share a little of what has made us a winning team (now coming on 40 years!) We share this excerpt in hopes you two will be motivated to become great teammates too.

He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever. (Psalms 111:5)

One of the prayers I (Pam) often pray is Lord we look to You for your power, protection, and provision. I know we can ask this because God offers his character to back up his promises.

In Brave New Woman, I reflect upon God as provider: “ My favorite name of God is Jehovah Jireh, meaning “the one who provides. Jireh is the Hebrew verb for to see. And if God sees, he also fore sees. “As the One who possesses eternal wisdom and knowledge, He knows the end from the beginning. As Elohim He is all knowing, all-wise, and all-powerful. From eternity to eternity He forsees everything. But another word for seeing is vision, from the Latin word video—to see.”[i]  So it’s like God has the video for your life! Not only does he have the video, he is the director!” [ii]

      Your opportunities in life directly reflect how you view God. If you know Him, you will trust Him. If you trust Him, you will step out in faith and gain that big wonderful life he promises: “A.W. Tozer says in his classic book, The Knowledge of the Holy,What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” Henry Blackaby and Claude King agree. In Experiencing God, they write, “How I live my life is a testimony of what I believe about God.” I like to say, “Show me your God, and I will show you your ability to achieve. Small God—small life. Big God—big opportunities and potential await.”[iii]

There are many times we have stepped out on a promise of God, trusting Him to be who He promises he is. We will look at just one area, God as The Provider .  We trusted God would provide . . .

  • When we married at age 20 with only part time jobs and no college diploma yet
  • When Bill quit his job and we lived on just Pam’s salary so Bill could finish 2 years of college in just one vey packed academic year
  • When we went without a car for almost that entire year, riding our bikes, trusting God would somehow provide one (We only had $100 for one!)
  • When we set off for Talbot seminary and Biola University to get training for ministry
  • When we started a family on a youth pastor’s salary
  • When we decided Pam would be a “stay at home” professional mom when our kids were preschoolers
  • When we bought our first home
  • When we remodeled that home
  • When we took a cut in pay for Bill to take a Sr. Pastor position at age 28.
  • Before the move to San Diego, our only car died, and we had only a few hundred toward one.
  • When we bought property and built a home in San Diego
  • When we stepped out and Pam went back to school to complete her degree
  • When we started our writing and speaking ministry
  • When we sold our home, downsized, moved near Bill’s 90 year old parents to live on a BOAT!

And those are just a few of the decisions to trust God that laid the foundation for all we are doing today.

God has never let us down. We married young and followed hard after God to complete our education, go to seminary, all while working with youth. And God treated us as His kids. He sent groceries when our cupboards were bare. He sent a car for under $100 after we rode bikes for a year. He sent supportive families to contribute toward our seminary education because they were thankful we shepherded their teens. He sent wise mentors to help us think through the buying of our home, and faithful families who jumped in and helped build the one we built when we moved into the senior pastorate. God provided every step of the way in small and large ways. We worked hard, yes, very hard. But when our work fell short in providing, He moved circumstances, or the hearts of people, to pull off many answers to prayer  that we see as pretty miraculous. And He will do that for you. There is just one condition- walk uprightly:

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory;

No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. (Psalm 84:11 NASB)

Upright means you will be morally good, blameless, genuine, and sincere.  Pam’s mom used to say, “Live in a way you can stand tall” (or be proud of your choices).

Lord, help us walk full and upright so we can live a life full of Your presence and blessings. Amen

So what makes for a super marriage? Two people tied to THE SUPER , ONE and ONLY, TRUE GOD!

 

Pam and Bill Farrel are bestselling authors of 47 books, international speakers and parents to 3 pretty super sons, who are married to three super daughter in laws and they are Nana and Papa to 5 very super grands!

 

 

[i] Nathan Stone, Names of God, (Moody Press, Chicago, Il. 1944), p.60.

[ii] Brave New Woman (formerly entitled Woman of Confidence: Step Into God’s Adventure for Your Life) Harvest House, Eugene, OR, 2010.

[iii] Ibid p 15

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