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The Ripple: The Power of Encouraging Words

Many of you have heard the story that shows the POWER of speaking affirming, edifying, encouraging, life-giving words that is from Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. “Let me Be Your Mirror”, a true-life story from our honey is the key that laid a strong foundation for our marriage AND it is the story God used to open the door for us to publish with Harvest House. We typically close our live conferences with this story and an activity for couples to share their own life-giving words of encouragement with one another. Let us share the story, just in case you have not heard us share it yet:

 I had just stepped from the shower and was looking into the mirror. I began to criticize my body, commenting on each area and pointing out my shortcomings.

I (Bill) was sitting on the bed admiring my new wife. As she commented on an area she thought needed improving, I began to panic. If Pam continued to point out her alleged flaws, she’d get depressed and sex would be out of the question. As she continued, I felt angry. Pam was putting down my wife! She was undermining my choice in who I married! So I prayed. “God, will you help me out? I’m about to get pretty angry with the woman I love the most. Is there something I can do to help?” As I closed out the prayer, a thought crossed my mind that I knew was better than anything I would have come up with on my own. Hey, Bill, you could do a better job than that mirror is doing right now!

Bill stood up, wrapped his arms around me (Pam), and told me to look straight into his eyes. I turned, and he very seriously and very lovingly said,

I will be your mirror.

My eyes will reflect your beauty. You are beautiful, Pamela. You are perfect, and if you ever doubt it, come stand before me. The mirror of my eyes will tell you the true story. You are perfect for me. And if I have to throw away every mirror in the house to get you to believe me, I will. From now on, let me be your mirror.” I smiled at this man I loved.

The Pam I (Bill) knew came back almost immediately. The bounce was back in her step, the smile was back on her face, and I could visibly see her confidence rise to a new level. I said to myself, Bill, pay attention. If Pam is going to respond like this, you need to run with any idea that crosses your mind like this one did.

I (Pam) am grateful that Bill has consistently reflected to me my worth and value from God’s point of view!

The Ripple Effect

Anytime you learn a truth, God adds himself to the mix and He will give you opportunities to apply that truth and share it with those in your world, in your circle of influence and family. This weekend, one couple heard the mirror story and shared encouraging affirmations with each other and, like God has done myriads of times around the world for couples all over the globe, their hearts were drawn closer. But then God gave this couple the opportunity to apply it to bless and build their middle school daughter, we’ll call her Ellie.

Ellie, it seems, like many middle school girls, was experiencing  an attack on her self-identity  and self-esteem by bullies at school, you know—those mean girls who love to pick apart every flaw—and make more flaws up out of thin air so you  feel bad and they feel better because the attention is drawn off them and on to you. In addition, middle school is just hard because your own self worth is fragile as you are emerging from the cocoon of girlhood into womanhood. (This is one reason I co-authored Raising a Modern-Day Princess and Becoming a Modern-Day Princess so girls from 11-17 could hear GOD’s voice speak into their lives and would help them lay a strong foundation to launch life from)

Anyway, like in many homes with middle school girls, Ellie had an emotional meltdown. Her parents had done their best to help her  embrace a heavenly perspective on herself as a beautiful creation of God, a masterpiece (as referenced in Eph 2:10 NLT ), but still this night after the marriage conference they found themselves trying to console their hurting daughter as when wailed out lies like, “ I am fat, I am stumpy, I am ugly, etc”.)

Then the Holy Spirit lead them to repeat the new truth that they had just learned at the conference:

“Ellie, let Jesus, let mom and dad be your mirror. If you need to know how beautiful, smart, lovely, godly you are, come see us, let us reflect to you your value. Let us be your mirror.” Then they spoke more words of life into her heart and their junior high daughter wen from despair to delight right before their eyes! She was transformed by the simple phrase,

“Let me be your mirror.”

Well, you REALLY know if someone has embraced a new truth—they USE it! The next morning, as dad was getting ready for church, Dad began to doubt his clothing choice. “Does this look lame? Should I change?” Well sweet Ellie piped in,  “Dad, let mom be your mirror!”


We would love to “Be Your Mirror” and build and bless you in all your relationships. there are a few ways we can do this:

  1. Each Monday eve at 6:06 pm PT, join us at the Bill and Pam Farrel Facebook page for a short #LivingLoveWise #DateNite video. Using Facebook Live, we will share a quick devotional message (Currently from A Couple’s Journey with God as a springboard for “coffee and conversation”. We always end with an idea for romance and a “Dinner and Dialogue” question for you to use with your spouse and/ or family.
  2. Become a member of the Living Love-Wise Community. You can click on “subscribe” and choose a level of involvement in the Love-Wise ministry. Each level offers more perks and opportunities to spend more time with us or our resources to help encourage and equip you to Live-Love-Wise in a way that strengthens all your relationships.
  3. Join Pam in her online Discovering Joy in Philippians Facebook Live study each Wednesday eve at 6:06 pm PT in the Discovering Joy in Philippians study group with Pam.  The book of Philippians is PACKED with great relationship wisdom! Register here.
  4. Meet us LIVE and in Person. Go to the Love-Wise speaking calendar and see when we might be near you—or travel and join us for a romantic getaway.


This week ask God to give you words of encouragement, affirmation and inspiration to build and bless those you care about.


Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

(1 Thes 5:11)

photo by Rebecca Friedlander

Praying for you and those you love!

Pam and Bill  


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