Q: What is the most creative advice you know to calm a conflict or keep an argument from escalating?
A: In our book, 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, we tell a story of a visit to the home of some newcomers to our church, Frank and Kendyl. After being in their beautiful, stylish home just a few minutes, I began to notice small bowls of baby sized Snickers bars all over their home. Curious, I asked Kendyl, “Why so many snickers? Does someone really like them?”
Frank and Kendyl grinned at each other and with a twinkle in his eyes, Frank laughed and then explained that he and Kendyl were both first born, so early in their marriage they had many conflicts because they both always thought they were right. Sometimes anger flared, or word were spoken out of frustration that they each regretted so instead of counting to 10 to calm down, one of them decided that the time it took to chew and swallow a fun-sized “Snickers” TM was the perfect amount of time to regain serenity and unity.
When a saint dies, heaven’s great gain is this earth’s great loss- but our legacy lives on!
And Frank and Kendyl’s legacy of love lives on. Their influence is securely planted in the lives of thousands.
Each couple who knows Jesus and has been married much time at all has some wisdom to share. We encourage couples to get involved in couple’s Bible studies, grow deeper in their own walk with God, and closer in their own marriage—then mentor other couples to help them gain God’s enrichment, encouragement and equipping to live “Love-Wise” too.
Thanksgiving with family is a terrific time to influence others. The best ways to do that is to be other centered. Look for those you can comfort, care for, have conversation with and LISTEN to. Then naturally share how God has impacted your life, or things you are thankful God has been or done for you. Pray and ask God who in your world He wants you to influence this holiday weekend.
“…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger…” (James 1:19)