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Archive for the ‘Successful Living’Category

Q: Pam, your new book, Discovering Hope in the Psalms, is a bible study for women. So how have the Psalms been helpful or hopeful for you and Bill in your marriage?

The Psalms have been our “go to book” of the Bible when we need comfort, guidance and healing. There are several verses in the Psalms that God has used at strategic times in our marriage. Let me share just a few and how they have helped us. We will do this in a series of blogs over the next few weeks:

The Beginnings of Love (Our Psalm of romance!)

Psalm 37:3-6

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.

This is the set of verses God used to guide me in the summer I was deciding to marry Bill. God used each challenge in this Psalm to guide my decisions during those strategic months:

  1. “Do good”- I was impressed to stay focused on ministry to others and not give in to the temptation to make my needs the main priority.
  2. “Dwell in the land”- Bill and I met through our involvement with Campus Crusade (now CRU). It seemed God was telling both of us that our relationship would progress as we both stayed under the umbrella of that ministry. As a result, I signed up for a 6-week Biblical Studies course Cru offered. Much to my surprise, part of the experience included a marriage Prep class taught by Dr Dennis Rainey during the first year of Family Life radio!
  3. “Delight in the Lord and he will give me desires of my heart”- The year BEFORE I met Bill, God had me take a year off dating. I admitted I was addicted to the attention of men which was competing with my love for Jesus. During that year, God led me on a journey through the Bible to see what a godly man looked like. I studied the lives of Jesus, Boaz, Daniel, Joseph and the Disciples. This helped me be better able to discern who was a healthy, emotionally stable, strong Christian man. I made a list of qualities I wanted in a future mate. Then I asked, “Am I those things?” because I know quality attracts quality. I worked hard on healing some of my emotional issues (caused by growing up in a home with domestic violence from an angry, alcoholic dad). When I met Bill, he was all the things I had prayed for and MORE!
  4. “Commit your way”- We dedicated our relationship to God and took the high road in all aspects of our relationship. We agreed not to sleep with each other and not even kiss until Bill would propose. We wanted to stay pure in heart and regret free. We also took the summer to seek God in prayer. For 6 weeks Bill and I didn’t write or phone each other (and no social media back then). We wanted to hear from God if we were called to marry the other.
  5. “Trust in Him and He will act” – during our dating months, Bill wrote relationship questions in a spiral notebook that we “needed” to discuss before we go out on a date. I asked him why he was doing this and he said, “I have never had a Christ based relationship so we need to figure this out together.” So, before we could go bowling or to the beach, we had to answer these relationship questions! This showed me Bill cared greatly about walking in integrity and protecting our budding love. It took until the last day of the six weeks for me to decide and it was in reading Psalms 37 that I was convinced Bill was Mr. Right for me!
  6. “He will bring forth your righteousness like the noon day”- We believed that if God was bringing us together, godly, upright friends and family members would applaud the decision. We also believed God would use our relationship to shine for him, which is what we have seen for 38 years and counting! We were thrilled when our dating “notebook” turned into a Premarital resource to help others decide and prepare well for a successful marriage in The Before You Marry Book of Questions. And our choice to stay pure in body and heart resulted in a lifetime of Red Hot Monogamy!

May God use His Word to guide you through all your vital decisions.

Pam and Bill have been married 38 years and are the authors of 45 books including the updated, expanded best seller Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and Pam’s newest, Discovering Hope in the Psalms: A Creative Biblical Experience

 

07

10 2017

Creative Conflict Resolution

Q: What is the most creative advice you know to calm a conflict or keep an argument from escalating?

A: In our book, 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, we tell a 10 Best Couplestory of a visit to the home of some newcomers to our church, Frank and Kendyl. After being in their beautiful, stylish home just a few minutes, I began to notice small bowls of baby sized Snickers bars all over their home. Curious, I asked Kendyl, “Why so many snickers? Does someone really like them?” snicker

Frank and Kendyl grinned at each other and with a twinkle in his eyes, Frank laughed and then explained that he and Kendyl were both first born, so early in their marriage they had many conflicts because they both always thought they were right. Sometimes anger flared, or word were spoken out of frustration that they each regretted so instead of counting to 10 to calm down, one of them decided that the time it took to chew and swallow a fun-sized “Snickers” TM was the perfect amount of time to  regain serenity and unity.

frank kendylFrank and Kendyl were married for decades — Then recently, Frank was ushered into heaven. Frank and Kendyl have been our friends, mentors, prayer warriors, advocates and partners in ministry.

When a saint dies, heaven’s great gain is this earth’s great loss- but our legacy lives on! 

And Frank and Kendyl’s legacy of love lives on. Their influence is securely planted in the lives of thousands.

Each couple who knows Jesus and has been married much time at all has some wisdom to share. We encourage couples to get involved in couple’s Bible studies, grow deeper in their own walk with God, and closer in their own marriage—then mentor other couples to help them gain God’s enrichment, encouragement and equipping to live “Love-Wise” too.

Thanksgiving with family is a terrific time to influence others. The best ways to do that is to be other centered. Look for those you can comfort, care for, have conversation with and LISTEN to. Then naturally share how God has impacted your life, or things you are thankful God has been or done for you.  Pray and ask God who in your world He wants you to influence this holiday weekend.

“…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger…” (James 1:19)

23

11 2015

Pam and Bill, you have become known for creating SIMPLE SKILLS that lead to healthier living and more successful relationships. Why the SIMPLE focus?

One of life’s great mysteries is that complex issues can be addressed with Simple Skills. When the Israelites asked, “How can we live in a way that is pleasing to God?” Moses was given the 10 Commandments. Jesus stunned people with His authoritative simplicity in such challenges as the Simple Skills golden ruleGolden Rule, “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.” (Luke 6:31) Throughout the Bible we see God’s desire for our lives summed up in simple directions:

  • One thing I ask from the Lord . . . (Ps 27:4)
  • Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack . . . (Mark 10:21)
  • I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do . . .  (Phil 3:13)

We want to spend 7 days in October with you making life simpler for all of us. From October 12 – October 18 we will send you ONE SIMPLE TIP and ONE SIMPLE TOOL each day, if you sign up for the Simple Skill Celebration.

SIMPLY go to the SIMPLE SKILLS book page, (http://love-wise.com/simpleskills.php) watch the video, scroll to the bottom and sign up for the 7 Days of Simple Success Celebration.

SIMPLY STICKY

There is power in having a SINGULAR FOCUS brought about by simple questions:

“What one change would improve your outlook?”
“What one habit would you like to develop?”
“What one skill would help you live more effectively this year?”

Last week we challenged our social media connections (ezine/ facebook/ twitter) to answer the following question:  What one thing do you believe God would like you to DO before the end of the year?

end of 90 day personal professional simple
We are all putting our answer on a sticky note and placing it where we can see it every day (a mirror, desk, refrigerator or dash board). It’s simple. It’s sticky. It keeps us focused on success!

We are committed to pray for every one of you who posts your sticky note on our Facebook page because we know it will encourage all of us if we share the journey together.

SIMPLE STEPS

Over the years, we have discovered that our most valuable accomplishments came about because of Simple Skills applied diligently.

Capture the power of SIMPLE today.

Join the 7 Days of Simple Success Celebration today.

Get your copy of 7 Simple Skills for Every Man and 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman today.

Post your sticky note on our FACEBOOK page so we can pray for you.

7 days 7 simple skills celebration

08

10 2015